What's My Age Again?
by MysteRachel
Summary: A day in the life of Mabel after Dipper left. Set to the song: What's My Age Again? by Blink-182 (AKA ONE OF THE GREATEST SONGS EVER CREATED). Will Mabel's silliness suit her after all these years? Will she ever grow out of it? Should she?


**_A/N - A nice little oneshot I though of while watching Irrational Treasure and SIMULTANEOUSLY listening to Blink-182. Mabel is very OOC and I apologize, this was just a little story to get over some writers' block. I do not own Blink-182, Gravity Falls, 31 Flavors, or anything else even remotely related to this story. Have a nice day!_**

_That's about the time he walked away from me_

"Mabel, I love you, but I don't think this is going to work out," John said. This had been the third time he had tried to break up with her in the past week.

"C'mon John. I know you don't mean it. You'll be back with me by the end of the evening! I was thinking of sneaking into your brother's car and filling it with balloons tonight!" Mabel said, trying to tempt him.

"I'm serious Mabel! And the problem is, well... you're not," John said, shaking his head, "You're 23, Mabel! You shouldn't be calling my Dad, telling him my mom's in jail! Those jokes haven't been funny for years!"

"That was hilarious and you know it!" Mabel interrupted.

"First of all, it wasn't. He cried for an entire hour! I've never even _seen_ my dad cry before that day! Second of all, that's not even the point. I've grown up, Mabel. You haven't. I love hanging out with you, but I just can't do this anymore!"

_Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three. And you still act like you're in Freshman year._

He embraced her, and that was it. John was gone. Third man this year. And it was only March! As he walked out the front door, Mabel grinned. Out of her sweater pocket she pulled his wallet. She started to it cut her favorite character (Shimmery Twinkleheart, the character she'd loved since she was 5) into all of his most important looking credit cards. She drew a mustache and monocle onto his drivers' license photo with permanent marker. Then she pocketed the wallet and ran to her car to try and find John. (she kept the free sandwich punch card)

_No one should take themselves so seriously_

—-

"I broke up with John today," Mabel said, sitting on the hood of her old Toyota she had won in a drunken staring contest (at least, her intoxicated competitor thought she was drunk).

"Mabel, what did you do?" replied an annoyed Dipper over her ancient flip phone.

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! He thought I was too silly! He thought I needed to 'grow up'. Can you believe that?"

Silence.

"Dipper!" Mabel practically screamed in the middle of the 31 Flavors parking lot, "I thought you were supposed to be on _my _side!"

"I am, Mabel, but you're acting the same as you have since you were 13! At some point, you need to grow up. Act your age. Get a _real _job!"

Taken aback, she said "But 31 Flavors _is_ a real job!"

"A real job you've had since freshman year!" he fired back.

"It has great benefits!"

"You're just saying that to make yourself sound more like an adult," he said. He knew her way too well. She paused.

_My friends say I should act my age_

"You should've seen his face when he opened up his wallet," Mabel said, trying to change the subject' "Priceless!"

"Why do I even try, Mabel? You'll always try to solve your problems with jokes. Let me give you some advice. It never works. You need to grow up." That was about the time Dipper hung up on her. Mabel rolled her eyes as she hopped off of the hood and into her "job" at the ice cream shop.

"What can I get for you today, Mabel?" Asked Todd, the man behind the counter she'd gotten to know too well.

"Just the berry blast today, Todd," Mabel replied, sighing. She paid for her ice cream and walked out, plotting her next prank.

_What's my age again, what's my age again?_

**_A/N - I AM SO SORRY MABEL I KNOW YOU WILL DO GREAT THINGS WITH YOUR LIFE I JUST REALLY LIKED THIS IDEA!_**

**_P.S. I know sweaters don't have pockets but I imagine Mabel has a special sweater she sewed pockets all over because she needed to go on a mission with Dipper and needed to be sneaky but couldn't carry all of the things in her hands and now she wears it when she's alone and misses Dipper so she goes on super-duper-amazingly-awesome pranking adventures by herself._**

**_P.S.S. Don't you love my run-on sentence postscript story?_**


End file.
